1. You'll use every club in the bag
Used to describe a golf course. If you're rubbish then yes, you'll probably use every club in your bag... and a shovel. If you're any good, you will be too focused to notice.
2. I left a few putts out there
Ah, no you didn't. You finished every hole and you're standing here with a golf ball in your hand. Where did you leave the putts would you mind telling me?
3. Overall, I'm very happy with the way I played
"Overall" is it! In other words, you're about to gripe about a couple of missed putts or a tree that jumped into the fairway... which prevented you from, what, breaking 60?
4. I just wasn't able to play my game today
Seriously! And whose game were you playing exactly!
5. It's on the dance floor
No it's effing not. If it's on the 'dance floor' then you're in serious trouble and you'll be paying damages for the broken window.
6. Shaved the hole
I'm not even going to go there. If you call missing the hole by six inches 'shaving' then you need glasses and a better barber.
|Whose theory calculated that a tree is 90% air?|
The approach to the 18th at Dromoland Castle
You know and I know that if the ball's heading for a tree then it's hitting woodwork. Maybe it's Murphy's Law, Sod's Law or Darwin's Theory of Evolution, but trees were designed to be hazards on a golf course and they're damn good at doing their job. 90% air, my arse.
8. Keep Your Head Down/You Lifted Your Head
The king of erroneous advice. It's the fallback, isn't it? Somebody fluffs a shot and someone else quips: 'you lifted your head'. I guess my response to that is: for exactly how long do you want me to keep my head down? Surely I have to come up for air sometime. Never give advice. Ever. Or someone else might start giving it to you.
Any more 'best' or 'worst' golf cliches, please feel free to add.
Never up, Never in!! There's no pictures on a scorecard!! It's a game of inches!! One shot at a time!!Time to let the big dog eat!! and finally You drive for show and putt for dough!!ReplyDelete
Hard Luck....GOOD PUTT...ReplyDelete
NO it wasn't IT DIDN'T go in...