Cherry Blossom Squeeze

My current trip started today – 3/6/08 – a journey to Clare and Galway and the courses along the way. Another three weeks and 29 courses. The weather is perfect and the sun is out when I arrive at Carrick-on-Suir Golf Club at 7.45am. It would have been earlier but the signpost says 2km and after 3km I turned around, convinced I’d gone too far. It really is at the top of the hill, high above the town. The lady in the shop sent me back again and it was interesting to see someone get out of their car and go into the shop, leaving the car door open and the engine running.

Carrick-on-Suir suffers from the same problem that many country courses have to endure: it is a bit too far to make the effort. But, like many country courses, that is wrong! This course is worth a trip, and the views of the Comeragh Mountains are an added bonus. [Photo: par three 4th]

Good showers too – those big heads that point straight down and drop gallons of water on you. Mind you, I was a bit dubious when I saw a container of shower gel scented with Cherry Blossom & Pearl. Whatever happened to real men! [Photo: the walk to holes 10 to 17 at Carrick-on-Suir]

On my drive to Cahir Park at lunchtime I was overtaken by three motorbikes – big Harleys sporting grizzled and bearded men in sunglasses. Emblazoned across their backs were the words “Sons of Silence.” As the Harleys roared past with that deep-throated roar that could be heard for miles, I wondered if they appreciated irony.

Cahir Park was busy. Seniors were out and playing slowly, but in front of me was a fourball of lads, with only two bags. Progress was slow and it gave me time to practice around the greens, so I wasn’t complaining. Cahir Park is a laid back kind of course, clearly divided by the wide River Suir, which divides the old, curvy holes from the new, water-drenched holes – all designed by Eddie Hackett. There are several places on the new 9 where you won’t get your ball back if you stray towards the wet stuff. [Photo: the pretty par three 3rd]

After I left I drove through Tipperary town and stopped for provisions at a local supermarket. I was looking at the bread when a lady walked up and started to squeeze every loaf of bread in sight. This one, that one, the one over there… and I wondered how many times each loaf gets squeezed before someone finally takes pity on it and takes it home. So, do you squeeze?

Making a point at Ballybunion

[Photo: Fin on 2nd green - Old Course - glorious dunes behind]

Two priests, Jack and John, standing on the 5th tee at Ballybunion…

"I know your grandmother's sister," says John.

Sounds like it should be the start of a joke, but it's not. My buddy Finbarr had come over to play Tralee and the two Ballybunions with me. Tralee was yesterday. Ballybunion Old was this morning and now we were playing the Cashen course. We were in for a seriously long round, and so we hooked up with the two-ball behind us - Jack and John, priests from local parishes and members at Ballybunion. One side of Finbarr's family is from nearby Ardfert, and John knew them. It's a small world when you're playing on a golf course surrounded by Americans.

And from that point on, no matter how hard he tried, Finbarr managed to take the Lord's name in vain on every bad shot. And that was a lot! He'd apologise, of course. Until the next bad shot.

It was a hot day - we had been blessed - and the Cashen course is even more mountainous than the Old course. And with the incredibly long delays it took us two hours 45 minutes to complete 9 holes. Apparently it wasn't the Americans to blame. Five groups of Turks were out on the course, including the professional from Istanbul Golf Club. His mother, it turns out, is from just outside Ballybunion - obviously!

Jack and John had had enough, and Finbarr was feeling the effects of his five hour plus drive from Rosslare to Tralee the previous day, so we all agreed to go in. I was playing fantastic golf
but I wasn't going to continue if it meant another three hours. I decided to hang around, have some grub, type up my reviews and wait until things calmed down. The four of us sat in the bar which offers great views over the 18th (Old) and chatted about how the club was coping with the decline of American visitors and the planned €4 million investment that would see substantial changes on the Cashen course - I had a lengthy chat with the Captain, Tom Corridan, later that night and it's always fascinating to hear what changes are planned and why.

[Photo: Par 4 10th on Cashen] It was after 6pm when I returned to the 10th at Cashen, and I went round in about an hour and a half. Sadly my good form of earlier did not continue, but after playing both courses I am chuffed to say I didn't lose a ball. There was only a light breeze, but even so - the rough here is vicious and some of the dunes are magnets. Playing the Old at 7.36am we took 4 and a half hours to get around and it was the famous 11th where Finbarr stood on the tee and declared: "I haven't lost a ball". Finbarr's a rather nifty 18 handicapper, but even I knew saying that was the kiss of death. Sure enough, two balls disappeared off the tee: one onto the beach, one into the dunes. Silly boy. On the next tee I chastised him for tempting the Gods. To make the point I said you never verbalise such things. “That’s like me saying that I haven’t had a double bogey.” How stupid was I! I’d just birdied 11 to get to 3 over, and I double bogeyed 12. You’d think I ‘d know better. But at least I’d made my point.

[Photo: Tough approach to the Par 4 11th, Index 2, Old Course - regarded as one of the best holes in the world]

I have played a number of courses with Fin, including Royals County Down and Portrush, Portstewart, Tralee, Gleneagles, Wentworth, Hoylake and Carnoustie, and I know he has played the likes of Kingsbarns, Royal Birkdale and several other ‘big’ courses, so when he says that Ballybunion Old is the best of them all, I know he’s speaking from experience. Sadly he didn’t get to play holes 13, 15 and 17 on Cashen, because they are majestic and lethal holes. Maybe another time because I’ll certainly be going back.

[Photo: Green on the edge: Par 5 17th, Cashen, with Loop Head in the distance]

Windy Trial at Tralee

After my morning round at Dingle, I had to shift it to Tralee where I had a 1.50pm tee off time. I was meeting an old school pal of mine, Finbarr, who was driving up from Rosslare, and at about midday he phoned to say he'd been stuck in horrendous traffic all morning and wouldn't get there till 2.17pm - according to his sat nav. My 'sat nav' was on my wrist and I knew I was going to be cutting it close by looking at where the little hand and the big hand were pointing. [Photo: the beauty of Tralee - par 4 8th]

Tralee is an Arnold Palmer creation - his first venture in Europe - and a statue of him stands close to the 1st tee. Perhaps 'creation' is the wrong word for he has left much of the landscape in its natural form and it is a beautiful spot. Perhaps not as astounding as Dooks, but here you are right on top of the sea, the rocks and the beaches, with a castle ruin and an old tower (behind the 3rd green) thrown in for good measure. The water is many shades of blue, green and aquamarine and I can see why some golfers (American mostly) regard this as more spectacular than Ballybunion up the road. I play Ballybunion tomorrow and will see how they compare! [Photo: Fin plays the par 5 11th, badly]

I arrived in good time, thanks to Joe's (from Dingle) directions, which helped me avoid Tralee town altogether. I introduced myself to the manager, Anthony Byrne, and explained that my playing partner was going to be late as he was driving from Wexford. Anthony nodded knowingly. It was a route he knew well from visiting his brother in Ballycanew, which so happens to be 3 miles from where I live in Co. Wexford.

Fin arrived at 2.16 (fat lot of use his sat nav turned out to be) and we were given a tee time of 2.30... behind armies of fourballs and their caddies. Yes indeed, the Americans have arrived! It took five hours to get around and it was a re-education for me as I had not played there in almost 10 years. There are holes here that are simply stunning and the back 9 is one of the best around - 12 to 17 particularly. There are a few slow holes in the middle, but that only highlights how good the closing stretch is. Once again, looking at the photographs, I realise how a picture cannot do the holes justice. [Photo: par 3 13th]

After the round we were both exhausted - me from 36 holes of golf, Fin from 18 holes and the long drive - and he headed off to nearby Ardfert to explore his heritage before going to Ballybunion to find accommodation and then meet me at the golf club for some food. I returned to my camper van to find another parked next to me. The same make, but 10 years younger, and a large 'For Sale' sign in the window. A coincidence? I think not. I briefly wondered if my keys would work in the newer model. Sadly they didn't.

And so to Ballybunion. I arrived shortly after 8.30pm and the restaurant had just closed. Two Americans, Bob and Adam, were seated at the bar as I ordered a pint from the gorgeous Katie. She said that the Marina restaurant down the road would be serving until 9pm and phoned them to confirm. Bob and Adam reserved a table and we started talking about which courses we were playing. I slipped in a mention that I was writing a book and Bob, a man who knew all of the links courses from 10 years of visiting Ireland, started asking the usual questions about which was best. Truth is, I was far more interested to find out which courses he thought were best. Royal County Down, Waterville, Ballybunion and The Island were all mentioned. And that's a strong list.

Finbarr arrived (he was waiting outside for me - sorry, Fin) and the two of us headed off for dinner. The Marina is also a hotel and the rooms were fully booked, much to Finbarr's disappointment as he had not yet found a room for the night. After we ordered our food, he walked up the street and was back in five minutes having found suitable accommodation. Not long after, Bob and Adam arrived and were seated across the room. At the end of the meal we started talking and it turned out that Bob was a member of a golf club in Connecticut where a friend of Finbarr's was also a member - Finbarr spent a several years working in New York - and Bob knew him. Small world.

Dingle danger

Dingle is a long way along the coast, heading West, seemingly forever. Yet when I passed through there were tourists flocking about, heads twitching like the pigeons on St. Stephen’s Green. It was good to see the town so busy at a time when the number of American tourists is falling.

I carried on to Ceann Sibeal Golf Club which is even further West. For a links course it is not what you expect at all. Sitting under three peaks, known as the Three Sisters, on one side and Croaghmarhin on the other, and with Great Blasket Island silhouetted against the sky, it is a remarkable spot that feels truly Irish. But the course is slightly inland. [Photo: par 5 13th green. Off the tee, to the right, you can drive over the horse if you prefer!]

I bumped into a Ladies team from Ceann Sibeal when I was at Skibbereen last week – where I also met a team from Monkstown. I asked a group of three if anyone would be interested in playing a round of golf when I was due at their club the following week. I might as well have had three heads, the way they looked at me. A man from Cork told me later that Kerry folk are ‘cute’: they won’t give anything away until you lay your cards on the table. Fortunately, Joe, the team’s driver appeared and arrangements were made.

Due to a mix up (my fault) I ended up playing the first 9 on my own, starting at 6.45am. I was walking down the 5th when a buggy whizzed over. I thought I was in trouble for playing too early. Not at all. He was forewarning me that the irrigation system was about to kick in on the 5th green. Sure enough, it started as I approached. I was grateful for the heads-up as I was reminded of a less fortunate incident at Ballykisteen last year. I was standing in front of the pro shop, by the 9th green, when the sprinklers came on. It was about 8am on a gorgeous, sunny morning and in a matter of seconds I was soaked. My playing partners were still getting their clubs out of their car and were completely perplexed as I splashed by in a rather foul mood. [Photo: 5th green, with Three Sisters behind]

Back to Ceann Sibeal, or the ‘course at Dingle’ as many people prefer to call it – the Americans most notably. I hooked up with Joe for the second 9 and once again it proved how useful it is to play with someone who knows the course. From struggling to make bogey, I picked up a couple of birdies, and it was a useful lesson to watch someone well versed in the arts of bump and run. And at Dingle it is something you need to master if you want to do well. Joe plays off 9 (he’s in his 60s), which I imagine would be a 5 or 6 anywhere else.

Sadly I couldn’t hang around as I had to be in Tralee for 2pm, and as luck would have it, I ran into a slice of country life just after leaving the club…

On your bike at Castleisland

It’s funny how things come around. At Killarney I bumped into a Ladies team from Monkstown, having met another of their teams a week before at Skibbereen.

After leaving Killarney, I parked overnight at Castleisland and played very early in the morning. I was putting my kit away afterwards when I heard a motorbike pull in. It reminded me to write down that I’d met a German couple, travelling around Kerry by motorbike, playing a bit of golf along the way. I’d first met Franz and Christine at the Ring of Kerry golf club on Tuesday (May 20), first at the 11th tee box, and then afterwards as they were preparing to leave for Killarney. They were playing three courses as part of one of those Passport special offers, and they were hiring clubs as they went – I don’t imagine that golf clubs and a motorbike make happy companions. [Photo: Drive over the gorge on 7 – trust me, it looks more terrifying when you’re standing there]

Turns out that the motorbike at Castleisland was carrying Franz and Christine! We had a chat and they said they were definitely coming back to Ireland to play golf, but without the motorbike. Where, they asked, was the best place to play golf? Always a tough question, but I felt they’d got it right first time by coming to Kerry.

After they’d hired their clubs I had a peak to see what the golf club had given them. They weren’t names I recognised but they were full sets with woods and wedges. I played at Mulranny a couple of years ago, hired clubs for a tenner and discovered on the 1st tee that I had a driver, a putter, a five iron and five wedges. It was an interesting and creative game!

I also checked how many golf balls they had. After hearing that their handicaps were in the mid-20s I handed over six extra golf balls to help them on their way. Castleisland has some dull, open holes to start, but from the 9th on it gets very dangerous with some seriously wild rough that will not give your ball back. On holes 7 and 18 you have to drive over a gorge (is 80 yards wide and 20 feet deep a gorge?) that is crammed with trees and it is impenetrable. Wait till you walk over the bridges.

At some stage I plan to produce a ‘best of’ list. And Eilis’s cheesecake will be up there. When I arrived in the evening I ordered a pint. And there, right in front of me, was a plate of cheesecake. As my wife likes to say: it was calling to me. Evidently both varieties were calling too, because Eilis gave me a slice of plain and a slice of chocolate. The apple pie was calling too, but I resisted.

[Photo: The downhill par three 9th]

Killarney – oh deer!

So, the mighty Killarney, with its beautiful lake and its perfect backdrop of mountains (MacGillycuddy Reeks). A bit like Waterville, Killarney has its share of buses shipping the golfing tourists in and out. I heard Germans, French and Americans, and my round in the afternoon (Mahony’s Point) was packed to the point of stupidity (see pic). I gave up after 9 holes, two and a half hours later, left my clubs in the camper van and walked the rest. There was a Ladies’ match directly behind me and I felt very sorry for them as the three and four balls in front of me seemed to spend forever looking for balls and whizzing about in their buggies. At one stage I could see a five ball, yet I didn’t see one ranger on the course.

Perhaps it’s a case of ‘I’ve paid my €100 green fee so I’m damn well going to do as I please.’ I’d played Mahony’s a couple of times in my life (12 and 30) and it is not ageing well. Not as challenging or as interesting as it should be for €100.

My first round was on Killeen, a beautiful parkland course set in a picture-perfect natural setting. I spent more time photographing the exceptionally camera-friendly deer than the golf holes. Even on the 1st, one wandered across the front of the green and down onto the lakeshore. But every second hole or so they seemed to appear. Unless there was only one and it was being strategically moved around the place to impress me! My one big tip for Killeen would be to play the 4th from the blue tee, which sits on a little rocky outcrop in the lake. [Photo: Par 4 8th Killeen]

After my first round – Killeen, at €130 – I had lunch in the clubhouse. A group of ladies wearing yellow walked in. Surely not I thought as I caught sight of the emblem on their jumpers. Having met one Monkstown Ladies team at Skibbereen the week before, here was another one. Here they were playing against Cork. Apparently the Ladies Senior teams have to play at a neutral venue. Fair enough, but Killarney is a long way from Cork. It’s certainly not the kind of distance where you can nip down the road for a practice round. On both occasions Monkstown won. [Photo: Par 4 18th Killeen]

Killarney Lackabane

Killarney’s third course is quite separate, and as you walk up to the clubhouse there’s an old pine on your left. It is very askew. It seems rather fitting as it matches the thinking of whoever decided a third course was needed at Killarney. One member – anonymous of course – said it was a millstone around their necks. A bit harsh perhaps but shaping a course around a huge factory without any views of the lake seems an odd decision. There’s a separate clubhouse too so it is all rather removed from the two main courses – Killeen and Mahony’s Point – which I play tomorrow.

It is tough golf, and having played the main courses some years ago, it is a much sterner test that calls for accuracy off the tee and an appreciation of what lies hidden behind the rolls of the fairway. I suspect it will always be the poor relation, but don’t let that put you off playing it.

Beautiful Beaufort

I wish I could tell you how beautiful it is here, but the mountains that give this course its backdrop were shrouded in haze. The 11th hits straight at the slopes that rise to a stunning peak, which I could just about see, and you can always look over your shoulder for a glimpse.

I wish I could tell you how beautiful it is here, but the new hotel and apartment block are set to ruin the landscape on this peaceful, rather idyllic golf course. New owners have taken over the club and, as always seems to be the way, they think that a hotel and apartments will attract more golfers/business, especially with the Gap of Dunloe just up the road. I’m not saying they’re wrong – I wouldn’t know a thing about the tourism business – but doesn’t it just seem that here’s another golf course with a ubiquitous hotel and/or holiday accommodation. The Ring of Kerry Golf Club has them, right in the heart of the course, and it just detracts from the holes and the setting. This hotel will do the same, but then it’s a money game isn’t it! The 12th century Castle Core stands untouched in one corner of the course (behind the current par three 13th), and it seems to be making its feelings pretty clear (see pic)!

With new ownership, things have to change, and one sad change is that the rather stunning entrance to the club (and old house that remains private) will be no more.

Apart from that, this is one of the most peaceful and relaxing rounds of golf I’ve played. It’s not difficult, just gentle. The opening 9 holes are the best, but the 11th was my favourite: as you head for a farm you get that wonderful country smell of cow manure. Now, if only they could direct it towards the hotel. [Photo: Par five 11th]

And one final comment: I may be a short-arse, but I know that 80 of my paces is 100 yards, and the measurements from the fairway markers just seem wrong.