“The best of the best of the best. Sir.”

OK, name the movie.

If you’re thinking I’m about to list the best courses then you’ll be disappointed – you’ll find those in the book. Instead, I’m addressing some other ‘best’ areas of the golfing experience – a whole motley crew of different things that I have encountered along the way and just add that extra flourish or, perhaps, just put a smile on your face.

Food:
Best Apple Crumble: New Forest
Best Scone: Westport (it’s made fresh for you)
Best Cheesecake: Castleisland
Best Burger: Limerick – and there were lots to compare it to
Best Stir Fry: Seapoint
Best Salmon: Carrickfergus

Craic:
An unfair category as so many courses never had a chance to shine – either closed during the winter, or my visit was a fleeting one. But…
Castlerock
Cloverhill

Most impressive entrance:
Macroom, Tandragee, Waterford Castle, Old Head
Least impressive:
Narin & Portnoo (through a caravan park)

Best Facilities:
Showers: Knockanally
Changing Rooms: Fota Island, Moy Valley, The Heritage
Clubhouse: Clandeboye, Luttrellstown, Knockanally, Fota Island
Practice facilities: Moyvalley, K Club (Palmer), Cairndhu (you hit out towards the ocean)

Best Bar:
Roscrea

Best Restaurant: (not food-specific, and based on a limited number of encounters):
Clandeboye, Scrabo (views)

Best Practice Putting Green:
Mount Juliet (including an 18 hole putting green with water)

Quirkiest Practice Putting Green:
Bray, Scrabo (astro turf)

Best Air Guns: Portarlington (please don’t point in the wrong direction)

Most Peaceful Course:
East Clare (and a perfectly winding Irish road to get there)
Gracehill

Most Picture Perfect Course:
Waterville

Best Greens:
Montgomerie

Best Views:
Dooks, Waterville, Narin, Old Head, Scrabo

Best Bunkers:
Royal County Down

Best Trees:
Coollattin, Adare

Most places to have punctures?
Limerick (3 punctures: at Limerick Golf Club and then at Adare)

Most dangerous:
Fernhill (other golfers)
Old Head (cliffs)
Mahon (tidal sludge)

Worst man-made feature:
The huge and naff waterfall and cliff on the Smurfit course at the K Club.

Best man-made feature:
The water at the Heritage – between 9 and 18 specifically

Best skeleton-under-the-green story:
Murvagh

Best tree felling story:
Spa

Best name for a hole:
Leg of Mutton at Lisburn. One of the other legs can be found at Castlerock.

If you have any other thoughts, let me know.

And the movie is Men in Black